Make it happn

So I find that i’m constantly surrounded by friends messaging away on their phones…not messaging other friends, but messaging possible sexUAL conquests. All via these fucking dating apps that are becoming more and more prominent within our lives with every single day that goes by and every newbie that signs up.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of friends who are now in stellar relationships because of the likes of Tinder, Happn, Plenty of fish or whatever, but my question; is romance dead?

Im not saying that these first dates can’t be romantic, but I feel like a huge element of the romance has already been chipped the hell away, you know since I’ve just sat here wading through guys on the internet like they’re a shitting current and all I’m trying to do is swim up stream. In simpler terms – no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no – oh shit he was really fit and I clicked noooooo…he could have been the ONE – oh well, better crack on otherwise I’m still gunna die alone, no, no. no, no, no, no, no, no.

Fuck sake.

That’s the average Tinder sesh for me.

On finally reaching a YES, and alas, a match…I then become obsessive until eventually I have to un-match this guy because he blatantly thinks i’m a psychopath.

I think it’s sad that so many of us firstly can’t be alone like maybe we used to. Especially in our 20’s. Gone are the days of waking up in the morning and being happy to see you! And doting on yourself. And enjoying some quality me time without feeling like those precious moments should actually be taken up by scanning the web for the next moderately attractive beef cake you can find.

I get it. My generation is one based on success. Everyone is out to make it, every industry is 1000 times more competitive and there are 1000 more industries. Where does one find the time to meet anyone? Even if you had the time, where? When? What would you say? What if you get pied in the face?

Jesus christ what are our kids gunna be like if we’re already this socially inept. Its tragic really.

I mean when was the last time a guy n a gal met at a glance, in a bar, over a damn good dry martini, and talked for hours…

When was the last time that a guy jumped from a moving train, chased this dame down the platform, just to let her know that she was Gods fucking gift.

The last time a guy chased me down the road, it was this hood rat and all his little cronies in camden, and he insisted on sprinting after me shouting COOKIE DOUGH COOKIE DOUGH (because of my caramel complexion obz) – fucking moron right, but at least he had balls. Or just a throbbing ego…

Yet still if a month goes by that I haven’t been ‘on it’ with my dating game…I feel its my fault I don’t have a BF. If only I was more committed to these dating apps you know? If only I tried harder, put more time in. WAIT WHAT!? What kind of bs is that.

Put your phone down. Buy a new book, something that vaguely resembles Eat Pray Love for context and general guideline (or Trainspotting depending on your mood), sit in a fucking tasty curry house with a dosa and some chutney, get a tall beer…and enjoy you. Because if you can’t enjoy you, why would anyone else eh?

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4 thoughts on “Make it happn

  1. Ugh how accurate is this post. This generation is so dependent on social media for absolutely everything. Simple human interaction is considered stress for people nowadays. No one appreciates the “spontaneousness” of meeting a possible love interest at a coffee shop, book store, or even walking down the street. To hell with these dating apps honestly. But kudos to those who actually do find true love on them.

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      • I wish I could find someone to talk to and might flirt without these trashy apps but it is what is,I suppose….and moreover I would look like a dumb if tried to interact with someone in a pubblic area randomly ahahah or at least it would very awkward for me

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  2. Pingback: OFFiCiAL Girl Crush – Laya Lewis | Offthemag.com

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