So i’ve just celebrated my 23rd birthday. Obviously I haven’t written a post for like a trillion years and I can’t lie, I’ve been busy, but my time off has also amounted to sheer laziness – its been fab! So Summer is upon us, and Ive just touched down on a flight back from Barcelona, a city I feel I’ve left a tiny piece of my soul…and a whole lotta dignity.

The first day was pretty manic. On arriving, my BFF and I found ourselves standing gobsmacked in the Barcelona marina whilst 20+ police riot vans and biker fedz sped in and out of pedestrians as they chased down over 100 illegal immigrants who had just reached the harbour. I was completely lost for words. Standing there like an absolute idiot. It was disturbing to say the least, seeing it happen, not through the safety net of my Guardian phone app.

Then like that it was over. We talked about it for about 10 minutes, and before I knew we were back onto the mundane things like which beach bar we should check out first, or which bikini am I gunna wear tomorrow.

The world can be shit.

Still the holiday continued as normal. Until about 4 hours later, just as the clock chimed midnight and my birthday was upon us…and my phone got stolen.

Some cute as hell gay guys come over to me on La Rambla, WHERE EVERYONE WARNS YOU PEOPLE WILL STEAL YOUR SHIT DUHHH, and start dancing with me pretending to be club promoters. I get twirled around like a little wide grinned princess, five minutes later,

‘Oh no Rich, I think those guys stole my phone. FUCK.’

Classic, day one in Barcelona.

The coming days weren’t quite as colourful as the first, and to be fair I drank so many of those 1 litre pints that it all just sort of blurred into one big mess. I did a lot, the obvious like Park Güell etc, but I kinda don’t remember most it. Instead I’ve come up with a list of my favourite naughty bits (that I do remember) –

Favourite restaurant – Ocaña. If you stay on La Rambla, or you find yourself on it – which at some point you will because its sort of the epicentre of Barca, check out Plaça Reil Square. We found the most amazing restaurant/tapas bar there. On arrival you’re greeted by two of the most TRANzfabulous women dressed to the absolute nines. One woman had on a pvc leotard with this fucking fantastic tutu, with a birdcage atop her magnificently made up head…the cage had a crow in it also – how FABBBBB. The food was great, the service mehh but who gives a fuck with a restaurant that cool. Staff were lovely, cocktails were flowing, and it’s made known that you’re there to eat, drink and be FILTHYGORGEOUSSS.

Favourite Bar –La Penúltima. It’s a little bit cute, a little bit too cool and a little bit kitsch. Obviously that means I loved it. A tiny bar with a lot of character and one of the few places full of people before midnight.


Favourite ‘is this a bar or is the a club’ – Museum. Give me a room full of screens that are all playing Britney’s ‘Work B**ch’ and i’m so down.

Favourite club – Metro. For a few reasons, the first being I had another favourite club but I can’t remember the name. Second, I love a club with a dark room. Ha, you won’t find me in it, but I enjoy knowing it’s there.


All of these, except the restaurant, are Gay. My BBF Rich who I went with is Gay, so I experienced the ‘fag hag’ side of the city, and of course it was marvellous. I would like to go again though, there are some amazing secret cocktail bars (I think I went to one Papillon – opens at 3am and you have to knock on a big metal door before they let you in) and live music joints. Sexy spanish men and their sexy guitars. Another time perhaps.

What an amazing city though, I made some great friends and I truly could have stayed forever.


One thought on “Barcelona

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